


The Burden of Love Eternal

by bewareofsartists



Category: Parked (2010)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 04:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewareofsartists/pseuds/bewareofsartists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cathal's previous love Mary re-enters his life and he is left to deal with his residual feelings and mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rekindling an Old Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is meant to fit into the film, not change the outcome in any way. There are some swear words and pot smoking in this fic so please don't read it if that offends you. Sorry for the poor descriptions, I originally mean this work as a screenplay, I'll do better next chapter. Thanks :)

A pretty young woman ventures hesitantly into the parking lot Cathal and Fred now call home, her blonde curls bouncing as she walks. She looks around quickly and when she doesn't find what she’s looking for, she walks up to Fred. 

“Hello, is Cathal around?” she smiles, fixing the collar of her coat.  
“That depends, are you one of his druggie friends?”   
“Do I look like a druggie? I’m an old friend of his” She continues to smile while Fred wonders what she could mean by ‘old friend’.   
“Oh, he went to get some coffee, he should be back soon.” Fred says politely, he is happy to see a friend of Cathal’s that seems to be normal. Mary nods her head and shifts awkwardly.   
“Ok, you live around here?”   
“Just there” Fred points to and old Chevy. Parked across the car park.  
“So you guys are neighbors in a way”  
“I suppose you could say that” Cathal comes running toward them with two coffees in his hands.  
“Mary? What’d you doin’ here?” He says, surprised.  
“I came to see you, see how you are”  
“I’m good love, I’m good.” He smiles a big toothy grin and hands a cup to Fred.  
“Still doing drugs?”   
“No, no I’m done with it, ask Fred.” He says and nods to Fred to help him out. Fred stays silent.  
“Cathal.” Mary says, she could always tell when he was lying.  
“Just smoke a bit of pot, nothing else” He says, his smile never faltering.  
“Cathal, don’t lie to me.”  
“Alright, I smoke heroin sometimes.” He says hesitantly, he looks down and scuffs his feet on the pavement like a small child, embarrassed.   
“Jesus Christ” Mary exclaims. She takes a few steps back and puts her hands on her head in frustration. She can barely digest this new person, standing in front of her. Cathal lurches forward, he wants so badly to reach out and touch her, hold her. He wants to tell her everything will be alright, but he can’t, because it’s not and they both know it.  
“But I only smoke it, never inject. I don’t do that stuff Mary.” He almost begs.  
“Oh because that’s so much better.” She says sarcastically. They stand in silence for a moment, Mary letting Cathal’s words weigh down on her spirit.  
“Wanna see my car?” Cathal finally asks, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. He can’t let her go home angry with him. Mary only nods.  
“Ok. Ok gimmie a second to tidy up a bit. Talk to Fred, have you met Fred?”  
“Not formally. Hello Fred” She says turning to Fred and smiling her most polite smile.   
“Hello Mary” he nods and smiles back out of courtesy.  
“Fred lives in his car too.” Cathal’s smile has returned and so has the pep and excitement he always carries.   
“Does he now?” Mary purses her lips and nods knowingly at Fred. A small joke between the two.  
“He fixes clocks too, he’s proper good, though.” Cathal is talking a thousand miles an hour as always.  
“Cathal, go tidy your car” Mary instructs.  
“Right.” Cathal runs to his car and begins to tidy, talking gibberish all the while. Mary and Fred stand in awkward silence, smiling and nodding every so often until Cathal sprints back to the pair. He wraps his arms around Mary’s waist and rests his chin in her shoulder. She is brought back to another time he did this. In her memory, she smiles and softly caresses his hands and he smiles and places a light kiss on her cheek. Only memories though because her reaction is different this time. She instinctively smiles but catches herself, she reminds herself that although it is Cathal, it is not the same man she once fell in love with. As this realization washes over her, the smile fades. She exhales and leans back into his embrace, savoring the memory if nothing else. He is none the wiser however and whispers in her ear. “ Ready?” She nods and allows Cathal to lead her to his car. He swings the doors and drums his fingers on the car top. “This is it, it’s a bit messy, sorry. If I had known you’d be here today I would have cleaned it out better.” 

“It’s alright.” She says faking a smile. It was not alright. His version of tidying was to throw all of the trash he had lying around (which was a lot) into the back seat and very poorly hide his baggies under his mess of clothes. 

“So this is it. Whatd’ya think?” Cathal bounces up and down on his toes like a child watching the trapeze artists at the circus. Mary only nods again. Cathal jumps into the driver seat and shuts his door. Mary peeks her head in through the passenger window while Cathal pats the seat next to him. Mary slides in and Cathal reaches across her to shut her door. He spins around, shuffling things in his back seat. He eventually produces his last bit of bud and some paper. She watches in silence while he rolls himself a spliff. He takes a few drags and stares at her. She had switched her gaze, her eyes are fixed straight ahead. “Want some?” Cathal offers. 

“You know I don’t.” her gaze doesn’t waver.

“Alright, just thought I’d be polite.” They sit in silence, the air permeated by words unsaid. “I’m glad you’re here.” Cathal tries to break the silence. 

“I know you are. You’re being good aren’t you, Cathal?” She finally turns to look at him. He flashes her a cheeky grin before taking another drag. 

“I’m always good.” He exhales his words along with the smoke. Mary laughs out loud.

“That’s a terrible lie.”

“I’m always good when you’re around.” Cathal corrects himself, still smiling.

“I know that’s the truth.” Cathal pats her knee and his smile widens. “I’m starving.”

“I got some stuff.” Cathal turns and begins rooting around in his backseat again. She grabs his arm, forcing him to look at her.

“Let’s go get something.” Mary says. When she sees Cathal’s hesitation, she adds “My treat.”

“No. I’m not letting you pay for anything I do.”

“Cathal, I always pay for everything you do.” Mary takes his hand. “Come on, we will invite your friend.”


	2. A Declaration of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is meant to show after Cathal has spoken to his father, distraught he looks to Mary for solace but finds something else.

Cathal steps up to the familiar door and rings the bell. He can hear footsteps inside. He tries to peer through a window but there is a shade in the way. Finally the large wooden door opens and there stands Mary, shocked. Cathal steps forward.  
"Who is it Mary?" calls a voice from up the stairs. Mary turns around and calls back.

"It's no one mum."

"If it's that drug addict you better tell him to leave, we don’t want him coming around here." 

"Would you just leave it, mum?" 

"Mary?" Cathal almost whispers. Her attention is immediately reverted back to him. She shuts the door behind her and steps out into the cold Irish air. Then she notices the caked blood on his temple leading to blood stains on his dirt covered clothes. He was clutching his stomach and favoring his right leg.

"Jesus Cathal, what happened?" she says rushing toward him. She grabs his face in her hands and inspects it. 

"Nothing," he pulls her hands off his face but continues to hold them. "It’s nothing, don’t worry about it."

"You need some money? You're Da says you came round his asking for money." She lets go of his hands and pulls some money from her back pocket.

"No, no I don’t need money."

"Why'd you get the beating?" 

"Mary, I don’t need any money." Mary steps back from him, breaking contact. She's back to being the stoic woman he now knows her to be.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She looks away from him.

"I came here to tell ya that I love ya. I just wanted to see ya." He stares down at his hands, pulling at the ends of his sleeves.

"You off your drugs then?" She says turning sideways. His silence is the only answer she needs. She shrugs and pulls her coat tighter around her.

"I can't stop." He says stepping toward her again. She turns her face away. Her eyes are starting to water and she doesn't want him to see her cry. Those tears would destroy him. "I love you Mary" She exhales, holding tears back. She looks up at him. "Do you remember what I said the first time I told you I love you? How I know?" 

"Of course I do."

"What did I say? Come on, what did I say to you?"

"You told me you knew you loved me because every time you touched me you could feel it through your entire body. Because the first night we met I smiled and buried my face in a pillow and then you realized there was more to life than just surviving it."

"I still love ya like that, Mary" She inhales sharply and drops her head. Every passing moment it gets harder to hold back the tears. "I know you want and educated man. One who yer mum won’t hate and one who doesn't live in his car. I can't be that and I know that’s what you want." He steps closer.

"You think that’s what I want? That’s not what I want. I want you." She says frustrated. Hearing this he becomes desperate. 

"You can have me Mary. I'm right here." He tries to take her hand, to pull her toward him.

"No I can’t." she becomes even more frustrated.

"Why not?" He is still pulling at her.

"Because it's not fucking you!" She finally screams jerking from his grasp. Cathal steps away, shocked and hurt. She had never yelled at him before. "You're a different person when you're on drugs. You're skittish and you scare me." Tears are flowing freely now but she doesn't bother to wipe them away. "You should go." She takes a deep breath "you should go." He wants to tell her, to beg her but he can’t. All those words are trapped under the lump that’s developed in his throat. She walks up to him and softly kisses him n the cheek. "Be safe Cathal, I love you." She can almost feel her chest caving in on itself but she turns and walks toward the front door.

"Mary" is all he can get out, a plea. She ignores him. "Bye Mary." He says just before she closes the door. Unsure if she heard him, Cathal turns on his heels and walks down her front drive, wiping at the tears now running down his cheeks.


	3. A Fond Farewell

“In the middle of the journey of life, I was in a dark wood, for I had lost the true path. And so we came forth and once again beheld the stars.” Fred closed his notepad and broke down. Tears streamed from his eyes while he hid his face in his hands. He sniffed, lifted his glasses, wiped away the tears and composed himself. He softly laid the black bound notebook on Cathal’s chest. A final farewell to his new found friend. Fred knew he would see Cathal’s demise at some point, he just never expected it to be today.  
“That was beautiful.” Mary said quietly as she peeked around the door.  
“What are you doing here?” Fred questioned. He silently hoped she had not seen the emotion that spilled out of him only moments ago, but he knew she had.  
“What I’m always doing, looking after Cathal.” She couldn’t look at her beloved, forever confined to a wooden box. Somehow she felt nothing, numbness, as if any feeling at all would break the damn and she would be washed away. She looked down at her hands. Her fingers diligently working to pick off her red nail varnish.  
“You really loved him didn’t you?” Fred knew this girl could never be cold. She came across stoic and unforgiving but she loved. She loved in a way no one would understand but her and in a way no one would feel but Cathal. All she did was look at him. Her face screamed ‘how dare you’ but all her eyes could say was ‘I’m sorry’. Mary was instantly flooded with images of her life before.  
Cathal meeting her at the door with a DVD and a gappy smile. Sot kisses on the front porch. Her drumming her fingertips on the tops of his toes while she listened to him explain what he dreamt about the night before. Picnics in the fall. No, stop it Mary. Get rid of it. Get rid of it all. The way he laughed while he drove her home from school, the way when he held her hand he would turn it over and over in his. The way she wanted to be sick when she found him over dosed in her bathroom. The look on his face the last time she saw him. Bye Mary. That was it. It was her fault.  
“How did he get into it? How did it happen?” Fred stared at her. He shouldn’t ask but he had to know. She walked toward him while he prepared himself for what was to come.  
“His mum had breast cancer for a long time. His dad couldn’t handle watching her die so Cathal took care of her. One night she woke him up, he watched as she pulled tufts of hair from her scalp and held her while she cried herself to sleep.” Mary clenched her jaw. She was doing her best to distance herself from it. “He called me, I guess he needed to talk. I had a huge test the next day so I didn’t answer. I didn’t answer.” She leaned down and rested her forearm on the coffin while she allowed the tips of her fingers to slowly drift across the tops of Cathal’s dress shoes. It was almost involuntary. “Anyway, He went for a walk. At two in the morning I suppose you find all sorts out there. He met a few lads, smoked some pot then someone pulled out the heroin and that was the end.” Fred watched her while she choked down any emotion that may be manifesting itself in her soul or in her eyes. If she had answered the phone.  
“He really loved you, you know.” Fred offered. She breathed in sharply and straightened herself.  
“I know he did.” She smiled softly and gave one last tap to the top of his shoe. “I wanted him cremated. His Da just wouldn’t hear or it. A fall breeze just seems to suit him more, don’t you think?” Fred nodded. Mary smiled and returned the gesture. She turned to leave, just then she caught a glimpse of his face for the first time and all she could do is stare. Stare at the man she loves. No matter what she wanted, it was Cathal lying in the coffin. “Have you ever seen a leaf fall off the tree? I mean the exact moment when it breaks from its branch and floats down to the earth.” She said but all she could think was picnics. She never looked away from Cathal’s face, it was almost like she was speaking with him.  
“No, no I haven’t seen it.” Said Fred.  
“Neither have I.” Mary smiled at Cathal and then walked slowly out of the room.


End file.
